Food + Gravity = Messy

Last night at work I was sitting on the couch feeding Skylor, who was sitting in the chair next to me, a calzone. I dipped each piece into a small dish of marinara sauce before feeding it to him. Everything was going fine and the only mess was on Sky's chin, which was ok, cause that means he was enjoying it.

Well, he ate the last bite and let me know he wanted more food. Fine, there's plenty more. Somehow, in my movement to put down the plate so that I could stand up I ended up dumping the marinara container on my lap. Here's the weird part, I was sitting cross legged and ended up getting sauce all over both knees, but not the couch in-between. I shouted "oh no, uh, oh, grr!!!" as it tumbled off my lap and down over the edge of the couch. I loudly said "oh crap, I got it on my pants" to which Skylor giggled.

Then as I stood up I saw the sauce hadn't merely dropped off the edge of the couch as I had thought, it landed smack dab on my book-bag. My OPEN book-bag. Marinara sauce all over my laptop charger cord, a big clump in the small outer pocket, and even traces all along the zippers and a little bit even got on my binder & papers in the main pocket. I noticed this as I was rising from the couch and said "on man, it got all over my bag," to which Skylor's giggle became a soft laugh.

Then, in my movement from the couch to the kitchen a little marinara sauce dropped off my pants onto the carpet. The light colored carpet, and I said "oh you've got to be kidding me!! I just got some on the floor too!!!" to which Skylor lost all control. He laughed and laughed and laughed (everyone who knows Sky knows exactly what I'm talking about).

I scrubbed the floor, my pants and my book-bag, but the smell of Marinara sauce still wafted up at me from all directions as I fed him the last bits of his second helping of Calzone. Needless to say, the bit of Calzone I ate was NOT accompanied by Marinara sauce.

I got off work at 11pm and, not ready to go home, I picked Anthony up and we drove around for a while and I told him all about my night, Marinara sauce incident included.

I decided I needed some dessert and we stopped at Burger King for an ice cream cone. I was admiring the sculpture in a cone the kid had given me (didn't really resemble the beautiful upside down cyclone of ice cream it is supposed to look like) and took a little bite out of the side and thought to myself "huh, it's kind of soft." I held the cone in-front of Anthony and asked if he wanted a bite and he said no. He never refuses ice cream so I held it there in-front of him longer and asked why he didn't want any. Just as he was answering that he 'just didn't want any" the ice cream, which I had earlier thought to myself was soft, gracefully slipped over the edge of the ice cream cone and landed with a satisfied plop right on Anthony's belly and slid down his coat onto the seat of the car. His first reaction was anger, why hadn't I just moved it when he said no the first time?? My first reaction was to push his bum out of the way and take a large scoop of ice cream into both hands and throw it out the window. Just then the kid who worked at BK came to the window and asked if there was anything else we needed, as I'm flicking ice cream off both hands. I began uncontrollably laughing and said "you didn't tell me it was soft! Can I have some napkins please?" He handed me a gigantic stack of napkins and I began wiping off my hands, the car seat, Anthony's coat, my coat, etc. He reappeared at the window with another ice cream cone and said something about making me another one. I asked him to put it in a cup for me cause neither of us had hands free to hold it. He seemed very confused that I wanted him to tip the cone over into the cup and hand it over to me, but after very concise instructions he did what I asked. I was hysterically laughing the entire time. After a little while the boy came back and asked if there was anything else we needed and I said no. He went back inside and I saw him staring out at us and talking to someone out of my sight, then his supervisor with a little "manager" tag came to the window and asked if there was anything else we needed, more napkins or anything? I said no again, we were just staying there until we got everything cleaned up. It was 11:30 at night, no one was in line behind us... were they afraid the ice cream spill was a distraction so we could rob their Burger King??

The whole way home I was laughing and laughing and Anthony was pouting cause he'd gotten ice creamed and he crunched away on the remaining ice cream cone. I don't know how he got that cone... did I hand it to him before I scooped the ice cream up? Did he grab it out of my hand? I don't know. I do know that while I enjoyed an ice cream cone in a cup with a spoon he did not enjoy an empty cone with the ice cream all over his coat. He hadn't even wanted to get ice cream in the first place.