If we could just skip the hypocrisy...

It's November.  Do you know what that means?  It means that everyone and their dog are posting daily "I'm thankful for..." posts on Facebook and Instagram, and it bothers the good-naturedness right out of me!!!  I don't know why, maybe it's that the people who are doing it are the ones who usually have the most whiny, "woe is me!" posts every other day of the year that I CANNOT stand!!!!  It's definitely pregnancy hormones to partially blame; I've become so much more judgmental and bitter over the last few months.  But I digress.  I completely dislike this overload of daily thankfulness, because I feel it is hypocritical and forced.  Well, maybe "forced" isn't the right word, but I simply cannot understand why it is only in November and on birthdays (which, don't even get me started on people that gush for paragraphs at a time about their spouse or child who, you discover, don't even have a freaking facebook account!) that people share their gratitude. What has happened to our society?  What has happened to goodwill and a desire to uplift others?  No, no, now it's all about the "I need to be uplifted", and the "You should say something to uplift ME!" type of attitude.  No wonder our country is going to Hell in a hand-basket!  Let's get back to our roots, people, and actually BE grateful!  Not force ourselves to think of something just because it's the month where a giant feast of Turkey and other deliciousness falls.  Speaking of which, I think we should boycott and demand that anyone who has put up their Christmas decorations already cannot do a "thankful" post, and they cannot join in on Thanksgiving dinner.  If you're going to skip the magic of Fall and Thanksgiving decorations, then you deserve to be skipped as well!!!!

So, now that you think I'm angry and a jerk and completely insane, I'll tell you the point of this post.  I'm grateful.  Ahh!  I know, right!?!?  How dare I say I'm grateful just after writing a giant paragraph about hypocrisy and other such things!?  Well, I'll tell you why, because I don't have any dang Christmas decorations up yet, and I really AM grateful (not that others lie about their gratitude), but it's not coming out just because it's November.  As proof, here is a post in which I was grateful. And here and here as well.

Anyway, today I'm thankful.  I'm thankfully for this belly

and this baby inside of it.  We cannot wait to have him join our little family and bring him home!

I'm thankful that Fall finally made it to our apartment complex!

And for the gorgeous view outside my bedroom window.  I know it doesn't look like much, but there's a few golden leaves hanging on for dear life to those mostly naked branches, and sporadically the breeze would scoop up the leaves on the ground and send them dancing, like graceful butterflies, up to join their friends still clinging to the branches, and then they'd float back down to the ground.  It was mesmerizing!

And for our cats who can purr and magically make everything better

And mostly, I'm grateful for this guy (who does read my blog, so I'm not being hypocritical here).

Benjamin makes me happy in SO many ways!  How he painted my toenails in the above photo, because he knows I don't like to touch my own feet, the way he looks at me and tells me how pretty I am in the mornings when I feel the most disgusting, the way he kisses my belly and talks to our little baby and reads him stories, or tells him all about what happened today.  And the way his big broad shoulders and higher-than-me height make me feel so protected and sure of myself.  Or the way he doesn't complain when I ask him to do things for me, like make a bowl of cereal, even though I know he's in the middle of writing a paper, because I don't want to topple the cats out of my lap.  I'm thankful for his big heart, and his willingness to serve others.  And mostly, I'm thankful that I know he'll be a good dad.  Earlier tonight we were babysitting our friend's little boys, and as I rocked the baby to sleep in one room, I could hear Benjamin with the 6 year old and 3 year old in their room, reading them stories.  He was animated, and chatted about the characters when the boys wanted to chat, and told them what Clifford books he had as a kid. And then he knelt down and said prayers with them, then read to them from The Book of Mormon and stopped after every few verses to explain what was going on... and my heart melted.  I sat in that rocking chair with that baby and counted my lucky stars and thanked my Heavenly Father for putting such an amazing man in my life!  Even 15 minutes later when we heard the boys whispering to each other, Benjamin just stuck his head in their door and whispered "you're supposed to be sleeping.  Get back in your bed", and they did, and soon the house fell peacefully quiet, and he came back to the couch and laid his head on my belly and waited patiently for our baby to kick.  I sure am loving that man of mine.

So yes, my friends, I am thankful.  Grouchy about silly little things,yes... but thankful nonetheless.  I promise not to complain about daily "thankful" posts again; I even promise to try to enjoy them, because I'm sure some of them really are heart-felt, and it's not my job to judge which ones those are.

28 days and counting...

 

35 weeks... can you believe it!?!?!?  I sure can't.  As you can see, my belly is growing, growing, and growing some more!  I don't know how much more it can stretch out!  At about 31 weeks I finally bought a pair of maternity jeans, a few tops and some *clears throat and whispers* maternity bras.  Guys, I went from a B to a D.  Never in my life did I think that would happen!!!

This week will be my last week working, which I'm looking forward to in a physical capacity because it's getting so much harder to move around, and I'm getting slower at everything I do.  On the flip side though, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself sitting at home all day.  Yes, I have boatloads of projects that need to get done, but I am an award-winning procrastinator, AND I have a tendency to have a fit of anxiety and worry and just never start anything.  We'll see how it goes.

And as far as eating is concerned, I Just Can't Stop!!!  I feel like I want to be cramming food into my mouth from the time I open my eyes til I get in bed at night.  And even then, I wake up hungry in the middle of the night!   Ooooh and the night... people warned me about sleepless nights, but this is misery I never could have imagined.  Pure misery, I tell you!  My hips hurt, my pelvis hurts, my back hurts, my legs hurt... and I have a husband who snores like a friggin' freight train, so any and all sleep comes as a treasure these days!!!

(See, I told you.  Miserable)

Our date for the induction is tentatively scheduled for the 9th of December, but the doctors have all REFUSED to set an official date and time until my appointment on this upcoming Wednesday.  I think it's a bit of a joke really.  Benjamin has a final on the 10th, 11th, 12th and 13th, and only one of his professors will let him have some leniency on the date he takes the exam; the others are set in stone that he has to take it at the scheduled time or fail the exam.  Well, he discovered the Title 9 office which has some Rights for Expectant Fathers, so if we take in the appointment card of when the induction will be then hopefully his professors will be forced to let him take the exams early...except I can't get the doctor to schedule it.  I think the most frustrating (ok, maybe it's just hurtful) thing about it is that the doctor wouldn't even talk to me about it.  She stood outside my exam room door while the ultrasound tech went in and out 3 times as a go-between to try to get things figured out for me.  Seriously Doctor, you can't walk an extra 3 feet and talk to me face to face?  I love that we're getting the best possible care, but I HATE the lack of a good bedside manner and just plain old kindness at our hospital.  Hopefully our appointment on Wednesday goes better.  Even if I do have to get the Group B strep exam done, I'll feel better knowing exactly when we'll head to the hospital.  Gotta look for the silver lining in all things, right?  Right.

On the up side, I have an incredibly supportive (most days) husband who, I think, is more excited than I am some days.  See, he's even practicing his swaddling techniques.  It's a good thing Theodore adores him so much or my poor blanket may have been destroyed!

And, to leave you on a happy note, our 3 fur babies.  You know you think they're adorable!