Saturday, December 28, 2013

Our baby looks like...

So, Ivan, our sweet little baby, is 3 weeks old today and I cannot believe it!  It seems like he's been a part of our family for forever!

For the past 3 weeks we've been looking at our sweet little boy, wondering who on earth he looks like, but not knowing.  My family and Benjamin's family both looked at him and said "...well, I just don't know.  He doesn't look like either of you!"  Well, I was going through photos just now to update the banner on this blog and found some baby pictures of me, and look...

I had a picture of me on the screen and looked at Ivan to make sure he was ok as he slept in his swing, and about fell out of my chair when I realized that Ivan looks like I did when I was a baby!  It's the nose that caught my attention!


So in all the photos I'm on the top, and Ivan's on the bottom.


Sunday, December 15, 2013

A Birth Story

Friday, December 6th, 2013 was a snowy day.  So snowy, in fact, that the governor of Oklahoma declared a State of Emergency for the entire state.  I guess 2-3 inches of snow on the ground is a very serious matter here.   There were a few cars off the freeway, but we made it to the hospital safe and sound in only an hour (it usually takes 30 minutes.)  We went in to register right at 7:30 and they sent us to OB Triage where we discovered I had dilated to a 3 since Wednesday, so they decided against Cervidil and said they’d send me right up to the 4th floor for Labor and Delivery as soon as they had a room ready.  An hour and a half later we finally moved to the 4th floor and discovered we had a problem on our hands.  The doctors at OU Medical will not induce labor unless you are at least 39 weeks, but I was only 38 weeks and 6 days, so they were trying to determine 1) why I was there a day early, and 2) what they were going to do with us.  They finally determined that the doctors scheduled the induction to be 38 weeks and 6 days because he had originally assumed I would have to be given Cervidil, which would take all night to kick in and get my cervix to soften up, which means that I wouldn’t actually have the baby until the 7th of December, exactly at 39 weeks.  And secondly, they decided to go ahead and start me because of the snow storm; they didn’t want to make us go back out in it.  So, I got all hooked up with Pitocin (to cause contractions), Penicillin (for Group B strep), and extra fluids to the IV and waited.  At 18 hours in I had only dilated to a 4, so the doctors continued monitoring me and the baby consistently, and since I had been so nervous that morning that I had thrown up on the way out the door of the apartment, I was starving and made Benjamin go to the cafeteria and get a cheeseburger, only intending to sneak a bite or 2.  Well, I was so hungry that I literally shoved that burger in my mouth and devoured the entire thing in 6 bites.  We were so afraid that we were going to be caught, but all turned out well, and I became much happier!  Benjamin finally lay down on the couch and slept for a few hours, but around 3 in the morning on Saturday the 7th the Pitocin was up pretty high and my contractions were being a beast!  I swear, the doctors had a conspiracy going that they didn’t turn up the Pitocin until the 7th so that I wouldn’t have the baby on Friday so they wouldn’t get in trouble for not waiting until 39 weeks.  I had been on a birthing ball for a few hours, but even that wasn’t helping anymore, so I asked for an epidural.  I changed into a hospital gown, and this gruff, white-haired grandpa and his younger intern came in and performed the epidural.  The anesthesiologist seemed like a grouchy old bear, but he softened up when I called him my “pain fairy”.  He said that in 30+ years of being an anesthesiologist, he’d never had such a nickname given.  The epidural went off without a hitch, so the nurse came in and gave me a catheter (yeah… I didn’t know that when you get an epidural you also have to have a catheter).  At 5:00am the doctor came in and broke my water, and after that I don’t remember anything but sleeping.  I tell you what, that epidural was my magic juice, and I had no shame in pressing that gloriously flashing blue button for an extra umph every 20 minutes or so when I could feel a contraction or two.  My contractions were pretty even, going from 4 to 2 minutes apart, but still I didn’t move past a 5 for hours after they broke my water.  By this point I was starting to get a little loopy and didn’t even notice the doctors and nurses coming in every hour or so to switch IV fluids out, take my blood pressure, move the monitors on my belly, or make me roll over so they could hear the baby more clearly.  I didn’t even ask questions when they made me put on an oxygen mask for the last few hours. 



  Evidently the baby’s heart rate would drop every time I had a contraction, and my blood pressure dropped to an 87/45.  They took my oxygen off once for about 5 minutes, then promptly put it back on, and I wore it for the rest of the labor.  At 12:30pm I was awoken from a nap by a fairly good earthquake and couldn’t go back to sleep quite so easily after that.  At around 1:30pm, the doctor (we were now on our 3rd set of doctors and nurses) woke me up to check me and said “guess what?”  I thought for sure she was going to tell me that I was still only at a 5, and all I could think of was that I just wanted to go back to sleep… but that’s not what she said.  What she actually said was, “you’re ready!”…and I started to cry.  I clung to Benjamin and told him that I wasn’t ready, and that I was scared, but he was so good about comforting me and telling me that everything would be just fine.  Then he pressed my magic epidural “umph” button for good measure.  By 2:00pm they had all the equipment ready for the baby and had called the doctor to let her know we were ready to start.  At 2:15 they propped up my legs (cause, you know, I couldn’t feel anything,  much less move anything on my own), and I started to push. 6 contractions later, at 2:28pm on Saturday, December 7th 2013, Merrill Ivan Heddy entered this world. 





 He was a purplish/gray and wailed like a banshee!  The first thing I thought was “holy wow!  His nose is huge!... and he is sooo beautiful!” and I burst into tears again.  They took him to get cleaned up, weighed and measured as the doctor sewed up my 2nd degree tear.  Our little man measured in at 19.3 inches long, and weighed 6 pounds 9.5 ounces.
            A few hours later, after I’d regained feeling in my legs and made a successful trip to the restroom on my own, they took us to the 5th floor for recovery for the next 2 days, and our little guy got his first procedure, a frenectomy, where they cut the lingual frenulum (little string thing under your tongue).  The procedure was done because our poor little guy was “tongue tied” as the doctor called it, which just means that his frenulum was so tight that Ivan wouldn’t be able to stick his tongue out, suck, or potentially speak well in the future.  Supposedly it is a painless procedure, but our poor little guy screamed and screamed and screamed, which made me cry and cry and cry!  I cried so hard that it actually made the nurse cry, which I felt bad for.  As soon as they finished though, the nurses handed Ivan to me and almost immediately he snuggled in close and stopped crying.  I’ll be honest, it’s been hard to let him out of eyesight ever since.  Gosh, we sure do love our sweet little boy!!!



 And now, the sweetest thing I've ever read... Benjamin wrote his version of the birth story as well!  He wrote it as a letter to give to Ivan when he's older.  So, here you go!


Saturday, December 14, 2013

Dear Ivan,

            Last Saturday was the most amazing day of my life.  Not the greatest, mind you, because the day I married your mother was the greatest day of my life, but it was the most amazing.  I have never seen anything so amazing as your birth.  Let me tell you all about it. 
            Last Friday, December 6th, your mother and I woke up very early in the morning.  4:30 if I remember correctly.  Your mother had already packed everything we needed for the hospital three to four weeks prior and we just needed the time to make sure that we had everything we needed and to get ourselves ready.  You see, there was a snow storm going through Norman that morning.  It had started snowing the day before and OU had even closed down early Thursday afternoon.  Many people, including your mother, had suggested that we get a hotel up in the city the night before so we wouldn’t have to travel through the treacherous snow and ice.  I, however, had all confidence that we could get there safely.  I had had experience driving in the snow before and I knew God would be watching over us as well.  When we got up that morning I spent a good fifteen minutes scraping all the ice and snow off the car and getting it all warmed up for our trip.  Mom hurried around getting ready.  We had a couple pieces of toast for breakfast and then Mom just couldn’t find anything else we needed to do.  She looked around in vain, but she finally had to accept what I already knew.  It was time to go. 
            We got downstairs and I put everything in the car.  Then Mom smiled and asked me to take some pictures of her in the snow. 




 She was so beautiful with that shining bright smile.  We got in the car and started slowly off.  There were about two to three inches of snow on the ground covering a layer of ice so I had to drive carefully all the way there.  We never did slip except for once in our own parking lot.  On the way we saw that the snow really was dangerous for many other people.  On the radio we heard about several accidents.  There was even one onramp where there had been one accident after another.  They finished cleaning one up when they had to go back to the same exact spot to clean up another one.  We passed a couple accidents involving multiple cars and we saw one tractor trailer upside down in a ditch next to the highway.  Almost everyone was driving carefully.  I remember one dangerous driver was weaving in and out of traffic, speeding along and laying on their horn.  I got upset that they were driving so recklessly, but I calmed down thinking that he would probably get into an accident before he got to where he was going. 
            We got to the hospital and saw all the beautiful Christmas decorations.  Every tree outside the children’s hospital was decorated with strings of lights and the giant statues inside the main lobby were decorated as well with trees and giant presents.  We parked in the snow next to a place reserved for mothers in labor.  I thought we shouldn’t use it because how would they ever know if our car really belonged to someone giving birth or not and I didn’t want to find out.  We made it up to the fourth floor with all our bags and were surprised to see Sister Blackburn at the receiving desk.  She brought us back to a room to see how far along Mom was and gratefully she had already dilated to a three.  We waited nervously in there for what seemed like forever, but was really only little more than an hour.  While in there, Mom got an I.V. in her wrist because the vein in her hand didn’t work well enough.  I was getting antsy, but Mom said that I would have to stop if she was going to keep her sanity.  You know how my mannerisms affect your Mother. 
            After a long time we made it up to the delivery room.  We settled in, Mom to her bed and me to the rest of the room.  We both had hopes that we might see you by early afternoon, but little did we know that you wouldn’t be there until the next day in the early afternoon.  We hunkered down and Mom got started on the Pitocin, which started her labor.  Before the induction, there was a little confusion about policy because you were only thirty-eight weeks and six days along.  Their policy was to induce only if a pregnancy was thirty-nine weeks along and they were serious about it.  They would have sent us home if there hadn’t been a large snow storm that day.  FYI, that “large” snow storm (which only accumulated about 4 inches where we were) was enough of a shock to Oklahomans that the governor declared a state of emergency.  Now, we knew that you were going to be a handful, but we didn’t think that your birth merited that kind of a response.  Anyhoo, they agreed to induce your Mom one day early and we hunkered down to a day of waiting.  I had my computer and some schoolwork and Moby Dick with me and Mom watched T.V. a little and mostly we just talked and updated Grandma and Alisha through texts.  And then it just kept going.  And going.  And going.  Mom was in labor for a very long time.  She started to get worried and I was also getting worried texts and phone calls from Rebecca, Twila, and Curtis.   I wasn’t worried because I had understood that labor could take up to two days, but I was getting a little worried because everyone else was getting worried. 
            I kept constant watch over Mom and all her needs.  Mostly her needs were help getting to the bathroom, wanting more ice water, and wanting me to be close by.  I happily complied.  Once, she got so hungry that she told me to sneak her a hamburger.  I was nervous, but I did it anyway.  Every now and then while she was eating someone would knock and come in.  She would throw the hamburger back in my hands and we pretended like nothing was going on.  I felt so guilty.  I was sure they would kick us out of the hospital if they caught me sneaking Mom food. 
            Other than food, the thing Mom wanted most was to get some rest.  She was a pro through all her contractions, never complaining once.  Not once!  I was impressed.  She had warned me that she might cuss like a sailor, but it never came.  We tried to get as much sleep as possible and I laid down on the couch/bed with our jackets as a pillow and a few blankets the nurse brought me.  I was in and out of sleep the whole night, waking up every few hours to check on Mom.  She didn’t sleep as well as I did, understandably so.  Throughout the day and night they would come in to check how your heartbeat was doing and how Mom’s contractions were progressing.  They kept adjusting the straps on her belly and every now and then they would increase her Pitocin levels.  Every once in a while they would be worried because Mom’s blood pressure was too low or because your heartbeat would fall with her contractions.  Once, around one-thirty a.m. they put Mom on oxygen to help you because you were in distress.  Around three a.m. the anesthesiologist came in and gave Mom an epidural.  We thought she would be able to sleep more after this, but she never really slept for more than half an hour until about nine that morning.  Now, after three I was mostly asleep until eight, but I was awake for the epidural and I woke up shortly after they broke Mom’s water.  We got up and I stayed up for a while, letting everyone know that we made it through the night with only a little progress.  Your mother was pretty exhausted by then and didn’t want anything to eat.  I got breakfast and we waited for the nurses to come in and check her progress again.  They came around eleven a.m. and she had only progressed to a five.  She was really depressed by that and when I told everyone I got even more worried phone calls. 
            You see, your Mother’s niece, Lisbeth, had just gone through a long and dangerous labor with many complications and a lot of scary updates.  We didn’t know if Lisbeth or Isabella were going to make it.  So, everyone was worried when Mom’s labor was lasting so long with so little progress.  Everyone was worried about a repeat of Isabella’s delivery.  However, Mom and I tried to remain as calm as possible.  I knew that if anything went wrong the doctor’s would perform a caesarian section and everything would be fine.  I’m glad I was calm throughout the delivery.  Because of that, I was able to be there for your Mom.  After that checkup, Mom fell asleep for a good three hours.  Even the visits from the nurses didn’t wake her up.  She needed the rest and I’m glad she got it because we were in for a surprise around one thirty.  They came in like usual and did another check.  “You’re ready.  I think you’re ready,” said the nurse.  I was excited and Mom had a little panic attack as soon as she left.  We had to wait about forty minutes for the doctors to come and set up, but once they were ready I supported Mom’s left leg and the nurse supported her right.  The doctors explained what pushing entailed and what it should feel like and Mom must have understood completely because she made it look easy.  I remember the first time I saw a glimpse of your head and I thought, “that head is purple.  Purple is the wrong color.”  Your Mom only pushed for six contractions and you came out a little more each time until you came out in a rush and suddenly there you were, wet, purple, crying, and still attached to Mom through your umbilical cord.  “Is dad going to cut the cord?” asked the doctor.  Have I ever mentioned how it gets on my nerves when the doctors speak to you in the third person?  So, I cut your cord with the little tiny scissors and I was surprised how rubbery it felt.  I saw them cut your cord again closer to your stomach and then carry you across the room where they cleaned you up and got you ready for Mom to hold.  From the moment you were born, Mom was weeping with joy.  She couldn’t wait to hold you in her arms.  It took a while for it to hit me that you were my baby.  After all the anticipation you were finally here.  I was relieved that when they brought you back you had changed to a normal pink color.  They laid you down on your Mom and you stopped crying for the first time and fell asleep.  


            Your Mom hasn’t wanted to let you out of her site for one minute since that moment.  We love you.  We’ve loved you even before you were born.  We will love you forever more. 

Love your Father,
M. Benjamin Heddy




Monday, December 2, 2013

Friday is the big day!!!

 Whoo!  Will you look at that progress!  Not too shabby for nearly 20 weeks of growing, if I do say so myself! 
Our induction is scheduled for this Friday (the 6th) at 7:30am, and we keep hearing horror stories about inductions taking 24-36 hours long or longer, and are praying our little hearts out that we're not one of those scenarios!!!  This might be TMI, but we're well aware that we're not just gonna walk in the hospital doors and joyfully have a baby 2 hours later (although, that would be awesome!).  The reason being that because they're inducing me 8 days early, there's a pretty big chance that my cervix isn't soft yet, so they'll have to do all kinds of medical/chemically things to get it to soften, which could take from 8-12 hours, and THEN they'll start the Pitocin, which in turn will start the contractions.  Even then, there's no guarantee that the contractions will kick-start labor.  That's why, they tell us, there's a good 30someodd% chance that we'll have a C-section.  And on top of that, Pitocin makes contractions much more intense and long, so our Lamaze instructor informed us that we'll most likely have to have an epidural in order to make it through.  Now, getting an epidural has been part of my plan since the beginning, but at least now I can defend myself against all the epidural nay-sayers with medical advice as an excuse.  You know, I never realized how intense mommas can argue about these such things, and how a natural birthing mama feels so superior to one who chose pain medications.  I just think "good grief, God helped the inventor of the epidural to invent it, so obviously he wants us to have the option of taking the pain away.  Why judge someone if they use what the good Lord helped to put on this earth?"  Either way, I'm jumping on the "serve up the pain killer cocktails and let's get this show on the road!" wagon.  Now if only we could conquer the circumcision debate with as much ease and assurance.  Whew!  If you are intimidated by the momma "discussions" about pain relief, then stay away when they're discussing circumcision.  Words like "inhumane", "mutilation" and even "Racist" have come up in my conversations about it. It's no fun.  No fun at all!

Anyway, the next post should be filled with photos of a (hopefully) adorable little baby!  Wish us luck!!!!


P.S.  You all need to post something!!!!  I know I'm not the only one with something going on in life, so keep us updated!  I'm going to need things to read when I'm in the hospital!!!!