Saturday, May 1, 2010

Proof that it is finals week

About this time of year Hell is lovingly composed into one word for me: Finals. Yeah, that's right. Unlike BYU and some other schools around here, we are still in school, still fighting with ourselves to get out of bed to go to class in a snowstorm, and still frantically trying to care.

Since Spring Break I have had the hardest time concentrating! I cannot concentrate in class, while doing homework... even during movies. Spring Break broke me. If that isn't crappy enough, reading has also gotten much less enjoyable. I even struggle with the Book of Mormon! I can no longer read anything without a pen in my hand, and all my books are annotated. You'd be surprised how many things connect with Jane Austen or Virginia Woolf!

So here I am, 1 week to go, procrastinating finals. Since I have already turned in 1 paper and did a presentation, I only have 1 project, 3 papers and 2 exams left. Not too bad huh? I know it seems like a lot, but keep in mind that I am a Senior finishing my English Lit degree so... so it is expected. Yes, if you want to know, I'd rather lay in the middle of the street.... ok that's harsh.... I'd rather lay in the middle of a bike path (that's better) than do my work, but it's not going to get itself done and I'm not rich enough to pay someone else to do it. Not like I would anyway...

Here's the crappiest part about Finals. I realize how much I have not learned. Sometimes it is at fault of a professor who cannot or will not teach, but mostly it is because of me. Even if I care about something and really want to learn about it I forget. I mean, I didn't even remember there was a dragon in "Beowulf" for crying out loud, and I read it like 3 times!! In class yesterday Dr. McCuskey who, you might be surprised because of all my griping about him, is one of my favorite professors, told us about the completely ridiculous final exam he is going to give us. We have something like 16 characters and 8 or 9 books that we will write about. Originally I thought "ok, that's not so bad" but then he had to go all creative on us and explain that for our final exam we will take on the persona of one of the characters and write about a different novel. Yeah, that's right. I not only have to remember what the book was about, but I also have to remember the style and opinions of the characters. I am screwed!

Ok right here I am going to admit to a very embarrassing moment

Dr. McCuskey looked around the room, a little happy smile on his face as he told us about our assignment and stopped to look at the thunder cloud that had formed over my section of the room. Ok, just over me. Poor Dr. McCuskey says "we ok Erica" and I reply with "No comment, I hate you" Ahhhhhh I told McCuskey I hate him!!!!! Why did I do that!?!?!?!?!??!!?!??! I don't really hate him, I like him very much, especially with his beard, but.... but my mouth just decided to vocalize my brain's frustration. The class broke into laughter but poor McCuskey lookedcompletely taken aback and just kind of kept going with the lecture. I'm sure it's the first time someone has done that.... A few minutes later he teased "You still hate me?" "No" I say "I was only kidding. Now I feel really bad. I heart you *forms hand heart now but McCuskey looks away before he sees it... which is probably a very good thing*" and again a few minutes later he looks at me again and the room goes silent while he looks at me. "You're my favorite" I say. Dr. McCuskey replies "You know, it seems a thin line between love and like, and it always seems to be the same person that says the same thing" He was again surprised when other girls in the class laughingly agreed.

After class I bravely yet shakingly went to the front of the room to apologize. Dr. McCuskey graciously accepted my apology and said that he knows I don't really hate and *something else that I didn't really catch because I was so nervous*, and that since he teases us he can only courteously do the same for us. Great. Me: "you're not going to fail me are you?" Him:.... I cannot remember what he said, but I'm pretty sure it meant No. *sigh*

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